If you are wondering how to make friends, you are in the right place. Two of the biggest decisions you will ever make in your life are:
1. Deciding what kind of friend you will be
2. Deciding who your friends are.
If you want to have a good life, (and I’m sure you do), then having good friends is a must. It’s really important to know how to make friends and how to keep great friends.
"You are better off to have a friend than to be all alone, because then you will get more enjoyment out of what you earn. If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble." - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (Contemporary English Version by American Bible Society)
Before you learn how to make friends, it is important to understand the kind of friends you need. You should want friends who are wise and are moving in the right direction in life. Bad company ruins good character, and one of the fastest ways to destroy your life is choosing to have friends who are going nowhere. Never settle for “bad friends.” These are people who you can’t really trust, and who don’t really love you for you. They are no friends at all. True friends bring out the best in you. They make you feel better when they are around. They are also not afraid to challenge you or be honest with you.
Here 3 ways you can make new friends, and attract the right people to your life.
1. Be friendly – this may seem obvious, but a person who has great friends, first has to be but you’d be surprised at the number of people who don’t practice this. Many people feel completely alone and misunderstood, but are so focused on their own feelings that they don’t put any energy into being friendly to others. For example
• Do you smile when you’re in public?
• Would you want to talk to and becomes friends with you?
• Do you look people in the eye?
• Do you ask others how they are doing and become genuinely interested?
One of the main problems with low self esteem is that it increases the tendency to be self-conscious. But if you are self-conscious that means you are focused on yourself, not what you can do for others. To make good friends, you have to be others centered. Fight the tendency stay busy being self-conscious and wondering what others think of you. Instead, be friendly and think of them. Everybody is looking for a good friend, so decide to be one and you will have no trouble making friends.
2. Be Yourself- one of the worst things you can do in your quest to make friends, is to pretend to be something you’re not. Never bend your character or values just to “fit –in.” Think about it, if you are pretending to be someone you’re not in order to have friends, those people are not really friends with you. They are friends with fake image you project. We all long to be deeply understood, appreciated, and accepted. But you don’t give people the chance to appreciate the real you if you don’t reveal who you really are.
Honesty and trust can only be built in a friendship where both people are being completely authentic.
3. Be Loyal – It is better to have a friend. But in order to have true friends, you need treat them like you would want to be treated. Would you want a friend that was around for the fun times, but then abandoned you when things got hard or when you made mistakes?
This is why you must develop the quality of being loyal – that is faithful – to your friendships. Honor and treasure your friends by developing the quality of being someone they can count on.
Some people only stick with their friendships when everything is going great, and the other person is making them happy. As soon as there is a disagreement, or the other person is going through tough times – they ditch the relationship and move onto someone else. If you have the tendency to be wishy-washy when it comes to your relationships, you have to develop your character by learning to be loyal. Friendship is all about give and take. Sometimes you are the one doing more giving, other times you are doing the taking. It won’t always be even, and that’s ok.
Every friendship will go through seasons of tough times. But the closest friends, are those who have gone through conflict together, worked it out, and become stronger friends because of it. Loyal friendships last when they are tested. Grace and forgiveness are the currency of all true friendships. You will make mistakes, and the other person will make mistakes, but you must be willing to stick it out.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. -Proverbs 17:17
If you put the advice you have just read into action, you will become an expert at knowing how to make friends. For more advice on how to pick friends, treat friends, and the importance of friendship – see the following links.