Final Self-Esteem Step: Love Yourself Unconditionally

There are several theories on self confidence, but the final step to truly building self-esteem is to love yourself unconditionally. Treat yourself kindly regardless of the circumstance. Start to challenge past negative experiences or messages by taking care of yourself in ways that show that you are precious, capable, lovable, and deserving.


1. Take Care of Your Basic Needs

This may seem obvious, but its often forgotten. Sleep! Eat Healthy! Get Exercise! Practice Cleanliness... you've probably heard it a thousand times, now do it!

2. Plan for Fun & Relaxation

Social time with friends, Movies, sports, massages, naps, prayer etc are all good ways to relax and have fun. Do more of the activities you enjoy.

3. Reward Yourself For Your Good Things You've Done

You could take the night off to celebrate good grades, spend time with a friend, or compliment yourself for making that hard phone call.

4. Remind Yourself of Your Strengths & Accomplishments

One way is to make a list of things you like about yourself. You can also keep a scrapbook of all your awards, certificates, photos, etc throughout the years.

5. Forgive Yourself When You Don't Do All You'd Hoped

Taking good care of yourself can be really hard if you are not used to doing it. Don't be critical of yourself. You are loved, and you have so much to offer the world. 

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6. Self-Nurture Even When You Don't Feel You Deserve It

When you treat yourself like you deserve to feel good and be nurtured, slowly you'll come to believe it.

7. Get Help from Others

This is probably one of the most important steps a person can take to improve his or her self-esteem. People with low esteem often don't ask for help because they feel they don't deserve it.

8. Leave the Past in the Past

You've got to forget the things that happened in the past in order to press on. Many times people have low self-esteem because they don't live in the present. It doesn't matter how people treated you in the past. Forgive them, and you can be a new person today.They either focus on what they feel are "mistakes" of the past, or worry about the future. Take life day by day.

9. If you lack self-confidence in certain areas,

take classes or try out new activities to increase your sense of competence (for example, take a math class, join a dance club, take swimming lessons, etc.)

10. Talk to a Therapist or Counselor

Sometimes low self-confidence can feel so painful or difficult to overcome that the professional help of a therapist or counselor is needed.Talking to a counselor is a good way to learn more about your self-esteem issues and begin to improve your self-esteem.

11. Talk with God

Good news! I've saved the absolute best for last. I'm a really honest person so I can't to lie to you. All of the above means nothing and absolutely will have NO LASTING EFFECT without a genuine relationship with God. You can't give love unless you first receive it. God loves you, he really does! Truly UNCONDITIONAL LOVE only comes from God. And no person, no activity, or website will ever fill that empty God-sized space in your heart. Not until you know what God says about you, and just how much He loves you, not until you that God says things like....

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you." ( Song of Solomon 4:7)

will you truly be able to love yourself unconditionally. I sincerely want you to be able to do that.

Here's a great song by Bethany Dillon that explains what this conversation might sound like, "Beautiful" by Bethany Dillon 

Check out the Self-Esteem & God section of this website for more info.

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